4/4/2004 06:32:24 PM|||Amy|||I give up. You know how when you try really hard, and it feels like you're slogging through molasses and you are never going to see your efforts come to fruition? I feel that way at this very second. I've tried really hard. Really, really hard. And all I have to show for it is a failed marriage, financial ruin, and a lot of self loathing. I have to pretend that I'm okay for my kids, I don't see much point in trying to do that here anymore - not that I think I was ever all that succesful. I'm not okay. I work at a job I don't really like doing something that does nothing to make me feel like I am "contributing" anything more than bringing home enough cash to keep my kids in daycare for the majority of their waking hours. I go home to a house I hate, to a living environment I hate, and to a life that apart from my children, is completely void of any redemption. It has to change. I don't know how it will. I've had enough. |||108112208442537221|||Giving Up