7/19/2004 12:03:44 PM|||Amy|||I’ve started thinking more about how Judy, my sister, and all of my other friends are right. I’ve grieved long enough over the demise of my marriage. John never gave me the things I needed from him to ever imagine that there was something worth saving between us. I’ve been choking on the misery we’ve created for each other, and it’s enough. I think it’s not unusual for someone to stay in a miserable situation because it is, at the very least, familiar and therefore, comfortable or safe. But, I have overstayed my visit in this particular chapter of my life, and I would really like to get on with sketching out the next one.

The problems I’m having right now have to do with reconciling myself to the idea that even though I am now doing the things I should have done long ago – other things which I also want to change are continuing to stagnate. I’m still broke. John is still living with us. My parents are still loons.

I think I am going to be a pretty damn good single mother. The kids and I will adapt and be fine. I may have to start reading parenting books (which I loathe) to get some perspective on how to deal with temper tantrums, but in the end I know now and will be certain in the future that I am changing all of our lives for the better by divorcing John. And in this, I include John. His life is beginning to resemble a cesspool. Divorce may be the best gift that I could ever give him.
|||109025662404468560|||So Bright is the Future