10/14/2004 01:02:31 PM|||Amy|||The presidential debate last night was disheartening to say the least. Where Bush was emotional, Kerry was cold. When it mattered to hear an honest answer to an important question, neither candidate could stop posturing and get off the goddamned stump. My assumption is that neither one is going to be an effective president, that we should vote for the administration and hope that government is not as self-serving as it appears.

In other news, we had the second den meeting last night. I make a sucky assistant leader. I'm not feeling very enthusiastic about this at all. This should be John's thing with Bear. There are five kids in Bear's den. One is parented by a single mother (the leader) and one is parented by two people in process of a divorce (one of which is me, the assistant leader). The remaining three are parented by both of their still married parents. Of these, two have parents which take turns in bringing the kids and one is solely brought to the meetings by his father. Now, call me old-fashioned, but shouldn't the fathers involved in this be leading?

I spent a hundred bucks yesterday on the incredibly over-priced shirts (one for Bear, one for me) and indecently over-priced patches and book. Now, the pack is saying that if I don't want to sell the boy scout popcorn, which constitutes their major annual fund raising effort and is being sold by frustrated boy scout parents near you, or buy it myself and bring in at least $200 - I should just write a check for $50. Where do they think the sole working parent of a five person family, employed as basically a secretary, gets this kind of cash? Tonight, I am expected to attend a leaders' round table discussion to share ideas and whatever else. Would it be inappropriate to shout out obscenities? Can we all go get drunk afterwards? Why are the other parents doing this? Are they still hoping that Norman Rockwell's vision wasn't just a fantasy? Are they peophiles? Or, are they like me and trapped by the torment you realize that maybe parenting is about finding all possible ways to instill values in a child that will only see the inside of a church when Mommy and/or Daddy is feeling weird, guilty or otherwise obligated to attend. There are probably a gazillion variations on why adults march their little boys into scouting as a means by which to appease the nagging expectations of whatever it means to achieve the badge of good parenting and happy childhoods.

God, I am so bitter and negative and cranky - and not really sorry.

Bear, if you read this one day - please know that I want you to be happy and you seem to enjoy cub scouts. If you didn't like it, I would drop it in a flash.

To John's credit, he took Bear to the den meeting last night. I was caught in traffic and wound up being half an hour late. John deposited the baby with my parents, gathered up Monkey and participated with Bear in making a tiger mask and photo frame at the meeting. I felt a very strong urge to give all three of them a cookie, with an extra one for John.

My fingers are getting better. As I sit here and write this, I'm calling the doctor's office to cancel the follow-up appointment for tomorrow morning. If my fingers are going to fall off, I doubt the doctor will say anything more than just keep a bottle of glue handy - or maybe, put 'em on ice and make an appointment.
|||109777483629564397|||God Save Us All