4/3/2005 03:01:00 PM|||Amy|||Dang it all if I have taken leave of common sense! And technological know how!

After having just checked my sitemeter, I realized that if there are people in your life that you really don't want reading your blog because you are honest in it about your: conflict with not believing in Christ and having a difficult time with the whole God thing (but are nevertheless drawn to spirituality to the point that you might have found yourself spending an hour or more yesterday in a Christian bookshop and then a regular bookshop looking for Bibles accesible to your 7 year old); similarly conflicted distaste for the current president; shortcomings as a mother; potty mouth; and last, but not least, incredibly messy life then you might not want to give anyone any information about yourself which could lead to a Google search and subsequent bust.

I'm just saying. I have issues. That's why I have this blog. I feel kind of bad every time one of my co-workers invites me to a revival or my brother signs my kids up for God camp or vacation bible school or whatever the hell it's called, and I fail to follow through on directing the moral compass. I feel especially bad whenever I refer to other drivers by the name they seem to have adopted in the heart of their souls, such as Goddamned Mother Fucker or more descriptively, Shit Fucker - and one of my innocent little children happens to be in the back seat. And yeah, my ex-husband still lives in the house and I can't get rid of him, apparently, without a court order or aid from the police.

I can't apologize for thinking the country is populated by a majority of rednecks.

I kind of hope that I can use this blog the way Dorian Gray used his portrait. If what I write absorbs all the nasty spillage from my psyche, then maybe in real life practice I will be a better mother. A mother who sucessfully and happily navigates through all the little and big pot holes that seem to pop up unexpectedly along the path. A mother who can be an exemplary employee in her work, and teach her children the value of a job well done. A woman who juggles work and family and self without desperately grasping and catching to keep those metaphorical balls in the air.

I am getting pretty damn tired of apologizing for the contents of this blog. In actual fact, no one, except the ex, has complained. I guess I'm just sort of paranoid.

Maybe I should stop looking at the sitemeter.|||111255936292201876|||Oops A' Daisy