Living On
I need to update. I come in to work everyday thinking, Okay. Take some time to write about the cute things Monkey said or did last night, or how Winston’s becoming more articulate and her giggles make everything worth doing, or how Bear’s ecstatic embrace of his studies is giving you hope that their futures will be far better than your present. But, I just don’t have as much time as I used to have.
I’ve been very sleepy lately, but I realized that might be because I’ve been battling allergies and illness. I lost about 3 pounds in 2 days after a weird, digestive thing and now I’ve been dealing with a scratchy, sore throat. I need to rest and revive. The move took a lot out of me. Just last night I finally finished clearing the living room of all the things that were accumulating there from the move. I still have a bed covered in clothes that are waiting for clothes hangers, and a kitchen that needs to be sorted out, and decorating to do - but the apartment is now a normal home. The kids have their own rooms. The place is clean. And I have the space that I’ve been craving all this time. I really, really love it.
I was at the end of a particularly stressful day last weekend, and Monkey and I were at the store stocking up on basics. I sighed, and Monkey looked at me and said, “I know how you feel.” Last night after everyone was asleep, she went into the living room and staged an easter egg hunt. Except she used fresh eggs from the carton in the fridge. When I went out this morning and found one unbroken egg between the couch and the window, I took it to the fridge to put it away only to drop and subsequently, smash, it on the kitchen floor. I cleaned up the mess, then went back to the couch to put away the 12 diet coke cans that Monkey had also stashed away there. That was when I found the smashed eggs behind the couch. I very calmly explained to Monkey that I was upset and why, and she literally tried to hide under the couch cushions in shame. For the half hour it took me to clean up the mess, Monkey laid face down on the couch with her head buried. Finally she emerged, and told me she loved me. I reassured her that even though this happened and must never happen again that I love her too and I think she is “the bestest Monkey in the whole wide world.” Just as her sister is “the bestest Winston” her brother is “the bestest Bear” and so on.
While Monkey was hiding, Winston played in my room as I dressed for work. She threw my shirt over her head and giggled and said “aw-shoooo”. It was very sweet. She likes to drag pieces of clothing around the house with her as if they were security blankets. She’s not particular. Any soft or silky material will do.
Today is Bear’s last day of school. I’ve signed him up for daycare for the summer, and he will have the opportunity to swim every day and go on multiple field trips. Most of his friends are going to be at this same place, so I think this summer is going to be amazingly fun. He and I have been going to the library too where he’s gotten his own card. I expect that we will do this a lot more in the evenings when we are trying to avoid the heat. Maybe by the end of the summer, Monkey will know the basics of reading! It’s not impossible, she’s a pretty incredible kid.
All three of my children are incredible. I’m finally doing things for them that I’ve wanted to do all along, but for some reason felt powerless to accomplish. I hope this will help them grow and flourish. God, I love them.
