Kangatopia

I guess I should mention that I’m not depressed… not in a sense anyway that would be generally applicable to how I might manifest depression. I am confused about what I’ve been doing and what I will do in the future. I am searching for something. I have considered taking flight, but not with any intention of doing so and as more of an exercise in determining how far I might go to quiet the demons which have reared their pointy little heads.

Dante wrote (loosely translated probably): “In the middle of the road of my life, I awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost.” I’ve read that this was a contemplation of suicide, but what it turns out to be is the commencement of his Hero’s Journey. When I considered this in college, I thought that it literally meant that he had lost his way spiritually - which, I suppose, is still relevant but it’s been too long since my experience with The Divine Comedy for me to go on about what Dante did or didn’t mean. The point is that when I first encountered this, I was seeking God and now, I guess, I’m still seeking the divine nature of God as manifested within humanity and the whole of nature - having given up on finding God through the conventional, every Sunday sort of means.

Basically, I feel that I have very little knowledge to share and that I am childlike in my ignorance. I am not seeking knowledge, so much as understanding and some sort of peace. We all experience pain no matter how much peace we find within. That will never change, nor probably should it. But, one of the things I’m trying to sort out is how do you put one foot in front of another when there is absolutely no light to illuminate your path? I frequently wonder to which direction I will turn.