Kangatopia

It has been a cold winter so far. Last weekend gave us an 80 degree day, but the last couple of days have been laden with ice and temperatures in the teens and twenties. One of the things most folks seem to like about Texas is the mild winters, but damn it – when it’s so bloody cold outside that you have to wear a coat… well, that’s just unreasonable.

Last night my father and I Christmas shopped. When we started out, it was pretty goddamned cold. By the time we finished, I was sitting on my wool clad hands trying to keep them warm and wondering in which box were all my wool socks. After the shopping, I took Monkey home to the bitter chill of the apartment’s environs and the first thing I did was put on the heat. Actually, it was the second. First, I peed and scraped icycles off my ass. However, the central heating doesn’t respond very well to indoor temps of 10 degrees Farenheit. It prefers balmier levels of at least 35 to get its electrical juices flowing. So, poor little Monkey slept in her clothes last night with several blankets and her Mommy laying on top of her to keep her warm. Unfortunately, my toes atrophied during the night and now I sort of hobble-scoot-hobble to get around.

Monkey awoke this morning all toasty and warm. It wasn’t until I pulled her out of bed to get her to the car that the snot droplets froze on the tip of her nose. We settled into the car, waited for the ice to defrost off the glass (because why in God’s name would I buy an ice scraper???) and stared blankly straight ahead since our brains were still a little on the cold side.