March 22nd, 2008
Maybe I’m not cut out for this
It’s nights like this that I wish the Easter Bunny really did exist. Jesus God, I’m not in the mood to stuff little plastic eggs with little jelly beans. Or artfully arrange paper grass in cheap woven baskets. One day I will probably yearn for these moments, and I’m sure it is not far off.
Does this make me a shitty mother?
Or just a frustrated, overwhelmed one?
Given that I am playing all the roles of all the mythical childhood creatures - Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy (though I do get a little help with this one, but prefer not to as the teeth end up in a black hole if I’m not involved), I think expressing a little fed-up-ness with the process is probably OK once in a while.
I’ll be more positive the next time I post, I promise.
Today, really, wasn’t so bad. It was just a day filled with screeching little girls, some crying, some whining, and the ever present demand to rise to the occasion of being The Entertainer. This is why, probably, I never seriously considered the idea of becoming a primary school teacher.
We made chocolate birds nests.
We colored eggs.
We rode bikes a little.
We (and by we, I mean Winston) threw huge, horrible fits when told that a dyed egg cannot be made white again. After she was put to bed prematurely, she whimpered for exactly 15 seconds more before falling fast asleep.
We (and by we, I mean Monkey) played the role of the diplomat. Monkey won a citizenship award at school just before spring break for being consistently helpful and sweet natured. I’m so proud of her, but I am really not sure where she picked up those skills.
We (and by we, I mean Bear) stayed out of the way or let small children (Monkey, Winston, a visiting friend and her slightly younger brother) drag him around by his feet. He’s realized that locking his bedroom door affords him a little privacy, and he’s also learned the value of sanctuary.
We (and by we, I mean me) ate too many birds nests and is afraid to crack open the jelly beans to fill the stupid little plastic eggs. I’m considering purging. A good stomach flu would do me a world of good right now.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I ended up having to spend most of the long weekend working, but on general principal refused to crack open the work laptop on Easter. So, while I was flipping channels, trying to find something interesting to watch while waiting for the NCAA games to come on, I stumbled on an infomercial for some sort of… well, kind of like a grilled panini maker. Just the sort of thing that looked really easy to use but which would probably sit in the back of some closet until meeting its end in a garage sale 15 years down the road.
But that’s not what piqued my interest. When they got to the “But wait! There’s more!” part of the spiel, one of the bonus items was a “filling injector” - sort of a large gauge syringe put forward as the ultimate solution for filling cupcakes with sugary goo, hot dogs with cheez whiz, and… well, it’s best not to dwell on some of the other possible uses. Except… I got to thinking about a discussion I’d had a couple days earlier about the pros and cons of solid chocolate Easter bunnies vs. the hollow ones.
Filling injector. Hollow chocolate Easter bunny. Marshmallow cream.
Makes you want to throw up just thinking about it, doesn’t it?
March 24th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Filling injector. Hollow chocolate Easter bunny. Marshmallow cream.
That sounds TOTALLY cool.
Except I might be tempted to fill mine with peanut butter. It’s not the end result that’s the important thing, anyway - it’s the JOURNEY.
Might have to get my hands on one of those things…
March 26th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
(I admit this started out as a comment on Foo’s blog, and Foo I am deeply flattered my Easter grumblings were an inspiration.)
I haven’t seen the injector, but could you just get it all loaded up and point it directly towards the inside of your cheeks? You know, bypassing the bunny, pizza crust, and other assorted fillable food stuffs. Sort of like squirting chocolate syrup straight from the bottle into your mouth and following it with a spoon of ice cream and a cherry.