Kangatopia

Dear Monkey,

Every morning you wake up bright and early, and this morning – while you did sleep in (not one of you got up on the first try) – you didn’t lose your composure when we couldn’t find the sneakers that Winston had stashed in the toys. I am always proud of you, but I am frequently in awe of you too. You and I both were stumped as to what to do in case the shoes couldn’t be found. Thank you, Monkey, for not losing your shit the way Mommy would have.

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Dear Bear,

I really am sorry that this morning I called your large, over-sized binder “stupid” not once, but twice. I still don’t understand completely why you needed to take it with you to Reach today, but I do appreciate your desire to be prepared. In fact, I am really, really grateful and happy that you recognize the value in not getting caught unaware. That binder is, I realize, the central depository (besides your brain, that is) of your 5th grade education.

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Dear Winston,

My God, you are cute! But you are a Turtle. If it weren’t confusing, I would change your name from Winston to Turtle on this blog, or as Shep named you, Turteline. My guess is that you received a tardy this morning because of your slow, take it easy pace. Don’t misunderstand, I love this about you too. I hope you are always this capable of not succumbing to the pressures of schedules, urgency and time. Where Monkey doesn’t lose her shit the way Mommy does, you don’t rush around like a hamster on crack.

Last night, Turtle… ahem, Winston, I was soooooo proud of you for not getting upset, freaking out or crying when I wasn’t waiting to take you home from dance class. Thank you for sitting quietly until Grandpa got there. (He’s a slow mover too but he has the additional excuse of a bum knee. See! Besides your quintessential “M…l” look, you also inherited Grandpa’s inability to be on time for anything.) You probably won’t realize this until you’re older, but your mommy has a rotten sense of direction. I was talking to some of the other moms outside of dance class and they told me where I could go to buy some tape like stuff to hem up the bottom of your little red riding hood cape so that you don’t trip over it and hurt yourself the way your Mommy, or Auntie Lisa, would when confronted with a similar challenge. You are graceful. We are not. Anyway, after getting directions, Bear, Monkey and I drove 10 minutes away, bought the hemming up stuff plus some ribbons to wear in your hair, and Monkey’s hair, to match your costumes on Halloween. I made some silly jokes to the sales lady in the store about not having any brain power for sewing or auto mechanics, and she didn’t look amused. Or maybe she was mildly amused. I’m sure I looked like a big dork. Then, Monkey, Bear and I got back in the car wherein Bear made lots of potty humor style jokes that kept Monkey in stitches while I got us very, very lost. I was about halfway, or maybe two thirds of the way, out to where your great-grandparents used to live in the countryside east of where we live now. Way out east. I don’t actually know how to get to that house on my own, but I do know sort of kind of where it is and that was exactly where we did NOT want to be last night. Thank GOD Grandpa answered the phone (a rarity – a really annoying, frustrating rarity) when I made the extremely panicked call that we were lost in Australia (as Bear asserted), and only a miracle would get us back to you on time. Needless to say, that miracle didn’t happen for us last night but when I finally figured out that I had driven several miles east and north, instead of west and south, we picked you up from Grandpa’s house only 20 minutes after your dance class ended. Your mommy drives fast in times of panic. Actually, your mommy drives fast most of the time which is why she currently has a speeding ticket in deferred adjudication.

Bear, Monkey, Winston – I Love You with all my heart.

Signed,
Mommy